What’s it all about?

What is family and domestic violence?

Family and domestic violence (FDV) is when one person intentionally uses threats, force or intimidation to control and manipulate the other person. It happens in relationships where the balance of power is unequal.

It’s different to family fights and arguments – every family has disagreements. But when a person abuses other by hitting, throwing things or threatening to harm them, it becomes FDV.

It could be your parents doing it to each other, or your parents doing it to you or your siblings. Or maybe you know someone who is experiencing at home or in their relationship?

More than hitting?

Physical forms of violence such as hitting, shoving and kicking are understood by many people to be domestic violence. Other forms of FDV tend to be less well recognised and understood.

When domestic violence is occurring in a family/relationship, more than one form of abuse is usually present. Some victims are never physically abused but experience a range of other behaviour designed to control and intimidate them.

Family and domestic violence includes:

• Sexual abuse – demands for sex when one person does not want to participate, threats of physical violence during sex, rape, being forced to watch sexual acts or pornography, being forced to do things on person does not want to do.
• Emotional/Psychological abuse – humiliation, threats, insults, harassment, playing mind games, accusing their partner of having an affair, denying or minimising the abuse, blaming the victim for the abuse.
• Verbal abuse – put downs, insults, name calling, swearing.
• Social abuse – controlling access to family and friends, controlling use of the telephone, isolating their partner from others, not allowing their partner to have a job or other interests outside the home, forbidding their partner to go out, wanting to know where their partner is all the time.
• Physical abuse – punching, choking, pushing, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, throwing and smashing objects, injuring pets, damaging property and the threat of all of these.
• Economic abuse – controlling the household income, not allowing money for personal use, not allowing their partner access to bank accounts.

Family and domestic violence also includes other forms of control, such as making decisions for their partner and excessive jealousy.

How do I know if it’s abuse? Maybe it’s normal? Click on the following checklists to see.

For facts and stats about family and domestic violence in Western Australia and nationally, visit the Resources page to download fact sheets and links to external websites.

To read about other young people’s experiences with family and domestic violence, visit True Stories.

To view the support services available, visit Get Help