What is family and domestic violence?
Disagreements will happen in every relationship. In a healthy relationship, both people feel free to talk, to make their own decisions, and to just be themselves.
However, where there is abuse this is not the case. An abusive person will control and dominate the other through physical harm, threats, pressure to have sex, emotional abuse and social isolation. This means the victim is 'cut off' from friends to the extent that they often feel trapped in their relationship.
This type of abuse in a relationship is wrong. Family and domestic violence happens because the abuser wants to have total control over the other person. Family and domestic violence is not caused by alcohol, drugs or stress - or by anything else like that. It happens because the person being abusive chooses to behave this way. Family and domestic violence is never the fault of the victim.
Some young people experience this type of abuse within their family. The abuse between mum and dad can make for an unhappy home life. Young people can also be hurt by their parents or other family members. Living with family and domestic violence can be a scary and dangerous time.
Young people living with family and domestic violence are often:
- afraid of their parent/s and/or other family members
- tired, withdrawn and quiet - they don't want to mix with friends
- anxious/edgy to get home so they can help protect their mother or other family members - or avoid going home at all.
What is dating violence?
Adolescent dating violence is a form of family and domestic violence. It is wrong and no one deserves to be abused.
Dating violence is described as the physical, sexual, emotional and/or verbal abuse between young people who are now, or have been in the past, in a casual or serious relationship. All forms of abuse are wrong and some are against the law such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, threats of harm and stalking.
Young people experiencing dating violence may:
- be afraid/terrified
- have changed and avoid going out with their mates
- have been threatened by their boy/girlfriend
- have been pressured into doing sexual things
- have lost their confidence and seem depressed
- mentioned to you how jealous their partner is and what a bad temper they have.
Young people being abused in a dating relationship may:
- believe it is their fault and that they deserve the abuse, especially when their partner tells them so
- believe their partner loves them, and wants to stay to help them change
- have been threatened to never leave the relationship and they become so scared and stay
- not have the confidence or strength to leave
- think that if they leave, their boy/girlfriend may spread rumours about them
- feel pressure to stay in the relationship.