If you are going out with someone and they constantly tell you how to live your life, like:

• who to have as friends
• what you should be wearing
• when to go out

... this is not healthy, its controlling behaviour.

It's like you need to get permission from your boy/girlfriend to do anything, you try to do things that don't upset or make them angry. This is what is meant by controlling behaviour.

In abusive relationships, the different forms of abuse are used as a form of control. The abusive person will threaten to harm their boy/girlfriend if they don't do as they say. Many people stay in abusive relationships because they blame themselves for the abuse, or think things will get better. Unfortunately, in most cases, the abuse only gets worse.

Often, things like alcohol, drugs, religion and even cultural beliefs are used as excuses for abusive behaviour. But the truth is, there is no excuse for being abusive and finding excuses is wrong.

Dating violence is a form of family and domestic violence. It is wrong and no one deserves to be abused.

Sometimes, the person who is experiencing physical violence may fight back as a means to stop further abuse from occurring. It is important to recognise that the person who starts using physical harm or threats of violence to gain control over the other partner is the perpetrator of the abuse. This can happen in both heterosexual and same sex relationships.