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Healthy relationships

A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust, respect, compromise, and understanding for one another and being comfortable in each other’s company. An abusive relationship occurs when one person dominates, bullies and controls the other on almost everything.

Obsessive jealousy can often be mistaken for love, but it is an
underlying form of control and possessiveness. If you respect and trust each other it shouldn’t matter who you talk to or hang out with.

A healthy relationship includes:

  • respecting each others feelings, opinions, and friendships
  • having fun together
  • feeling comfortable and at ease with one another
  • being free to be yourself
  • being able to disagree without feeling intimidated
  • being able to spend time away from your relationship without negative consequences
  • being able to say no when you don’t want to do things, including sex.

 

Susan’s story

"Dave and I have been going out for a while, and sometimes we hang out in the city and check out the shops. The other day when we were in town, he started looking at this awful neon green shirt, and wanted
to try it on. I told him not to be an idiot, and threatened to not hang around him if he bought the shirt and wore it, because I would be so embarrassed!

He got upset, and told me that he could wear what he wanted to, bought the shirt, and went home. I hung around for a bit longer, still fuming at how dumb Dave was being. After a while, I started to calm down, and realised I probably sounded like Dave’s mum by telling him
what to wear. And it was a bit mean to call him an idiot.

I called him on my mobile and told him I was sorry for being bossy and calling him an idiot, and that I definitely wouldn’t stop hanging out with him just because of a shirt. Dave said that was cool, then actually admitted that he really didn’t like the shirt – he had only
bought it to show me he didn’t like being bossed around. He asked me if I wanted to come with him to return it tomorrow."