Family and domestic violence can be very hard to understand because there is no one single reason why it happens - it is a combination of lots of things. Excuses are often used as a reason why one person abuses the other like 'it's your fault, you shouldn't have done that' or 'you know I'm under a lot of pressure from work and you just keep putting more onto me until I snap'.

There are no excuses for being violent - it is wrong.

This is how it works
Some people have described living in a family and domestic violence situation as like walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next fight will happen or how bad it will be. They say that during the good times after the fight mum and dad would say they were sorry and promise it wouldn't happen again, that things would change this time. Unfortunately, in most families that don't get some help, the cycle of violence just keeps going around and around - from good times to walking on eggshells, fighting again, then back to the good times again. There is also a strong chance the fights will get worse over time.